(This represents the summary conclusion of an online discussion with a good friend) The”adabists”(fervent believers in social étiquette) have it all wrong.Although social niceties have their place in our daily lives they are no substitute for real virtue-like generosity,not bearing grudges and learning to set aside our emotional reactions and not be constantly acting them out.For the Muslims who may be reading this ,they should look at the meaning of the Prophet’s “sublime character”(akhlaq al atheem) mentionned in the Quran. He manifested much ,much more than superficial politeness.He demonstrated ALL of the virtues mentioned above.May Allah send His blessings down upon him sal and all of us through his transmission.Salaams,Ibrahim