Towards the end of his life, Freud made the following statement concerning his discovery of psychoanalysis; “I believe I have discovered the third type of human activity that is both necessary and doomed to failure.The other two being raising children and governing nations” Lol. Well I may have uncovered the fourth- Being a spiritual teacher!

Now, classically, the métier of spiritual teacher was considerably simpler.The teacher spoke and instructed and the murid(student) listened and obeyed.” Listen and obey” That is the instruction both in the Quran and in most Sufi tariqats.But somehow things have changed.That model seems to be outdated.It is still being attempted in many spiritual circles but I myself and many others in modern times have found it unworkable.For example,when we discover the teacher has made a mistake,sometimes a serious one,do we just keep quiet?! Or, even worse, do we deny that it occurred as many murids do? What do we do about it? Unfortunately denial is a very commonplace reaction.

I had a very good friend whose teacher was doing wrong things( many actually haram) on many levels.The evidence was growing by the year and the documentation became overwhelming.But he wouldn’t leave! It got so bad,I eventually had to terminate the friendship as the level of “falsehood” had become unsustainable.This is not uncommon btw!The loyalty to corrupt spiritual teachers is unbelievable at times.and the justifications are as clever as they are disingenuous.

I would like to backtrack a moment to my personal experience here.I say often and I believe it that I would have almost no understanding of life and spirituality if it were not for some extraordinary beings I have met along the route.These extraordinary beings include my first Sufi teacher-Pir Vilayat Khan-my first Tibetan Buddhist teacher,Geshe Lama Gajan, my fist Muslim teacher Sheikh Muhammad Jumal, Sheikh Bawa Muhayideen, Sheikh Nazim al Qubrusi,S heikh Nuh and my current teacher Sheikh Abu Qassim of Erdeyf,Tunisia and many others along the way.I learnt so much more from these people than from my miserable 12 years of University education lol! I would be nowhere without them.

And yet….they were all imperfect.And it usually didn’t take me long to detect their faults and their limitations.However,we were absolutely forbidden, by context,to raise these issues.”Our teachers are perfect.We need to idealize them and obey them” That was the Gestalt of it. No ‘ifs’,’ and’s and ‘buts’ lol.

Eventually,I had to break away from this Absolutist approach to spiritual development.It was not an easy decision.Most of my Sufi colleagues would consider my position as heretical.But my entire path seemed to be leading me in that direction-developing a more comprehensive,all-inclusive model.My heart led me there and my Istikharas confirmed it over and over again.Little did I expect what happened next?!

Once I took on this new role ,I was confronted quickly with a dilemma that I had not expected.The opposition forces grew and grew.Like our blessed Prophet saws I confronted the opposition-as he sal  confronted the ways of the Qurayshi ancestprs!I began to regret the loss of the “Listen and obey plus idealization” approach! So much easier.Excludes all opposition by diktat.But it was not to be.  These were new types of ancestors however- the ancestors of the modern world! And two of these “modern ancestral opponents” stood out from the crowd.One was “transference” (courtesy the psychoanalysts) and one was social-conditioning( social brain-washing if you wish). Let us explore these two in a little more detail.

1-Tranference: Transference was a deep secret in the human unconscious that Freud and his fellow analysts discovered by doing therapy with psychologically troubled people.What they found ,to their surprise initially, was that no matter how neutral and relatively silent they were,the patient eventually reproduced their parental relationships in the consulting room.Then it became the analysts job to “interpret the transference” and that would ultimately be the most important tool for healing.Until they came across the borderlines but that is another story Lol.

As a spiritual teacher,one comes across the very same phenomenon,in a different context.The teacher is trying to transmit knowledge and understanding and practices and even love only to come across reactiveness and obstinacy and stonewalling! “What is he is thinking?! I am trying my best to transmit goodness and life  and I am getting “flack” instead?!” What is happening?” he asks And the answer is usually transference!

The transference can take several forms.If we are talking about a male teacher it will often involve a father transference.”My father is critical,so you are critical.My father is explosive so you are explosive.My father puts me down so you,the spiritual teachers are putting me down” The themes are endless.Occasionally a gender shift may be operative.For example if the mother was domineering and harsh or the micro-managing type, the transference can be a maternal one.

The other possibility, in the domain of the unconscious, comes from the school of “object relations” in psychoanalysis.They clearly identified the process of identification or parental internalization(the inner parental imago). So, in that case, the murid,instead of reacting to the parent becomes the parent.This often happens in marriage,unfortunately.But it can also happen within a teacher/student relationship!

In a classical Sheikh/Murid relationship this phenomenon is either hidden or short-circuited but in the newer model I am presenting it needs to be addressed.This makes the work a lot more difficult but on the other hand more complete and more satisfying.In other words, with this approach we are doing psychotherapy at the same time as spiritual work.Very satisfying for someone who has been advocating the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual approach(i.e a complete approach to human development) for decades!

2_ Social Conditioning: I realized quite quickly that there was another adversary in this process that was at least as formidable ,if not more so,than the transference.And that is social conditioning- the way we have been trained by our parents ,the society around us, and most notably our schools, to think.And that thinking involves at least three elements- Rationnality/Logic; Democratic values(what I call the Democratic Illusions); and Secularism. I am convinced there is much more to this story but let us start with those three;

a) Rationnality/Logic: From an early age, and certainly as soon as we start our formal education, we are trained to be Reasonable and Logical. I only really became aware of this bias when I did an EST training in San Francisco in the 70’s and the trainer at the front began unpacking “the stages of spiritual development“Reasonableness is the lowest level of spiritual development” he stated  i.e. just one notch above animality lol.And yet all around us we can see this emphasis-not only in our schools but in our businesses which are constantly calculating their self-interest and in our governments that are always looking at “the data”. You see gathering of the data and then analyzing it or “crunching it” as they say is one of the most basic aspects of our social processes and our decision -making .

So the Greek Philosophers and particularly Aristotle have found their way into our thinking-actually into our unconscious! And this internalization raises its hoary head as soon as you begin trying to teach people.One of the first manifestations of this is “the contradiction detectors”.They are on all the time in hyperactive,hypersensitive mode!Remember Aristotle taught us that A could not be not-A. Unfortunately it often is lol. “But teacher, you said this yesterday and now you are saying that.How could that be?! It’s a contradiction!” Yes,we are all playing  “gotcha”CNN games with each other and with our teachers.

For the Muslims amongst you and even the sincere Christians ,try to find those kind of interactions amongst the disciples of Mohammad saws or Jesus a.s. or Moses.I have been unable.Take note that we are not talking abort Muslim scholars or Talmudic traditions or Christian theologians.They are all infected with the Aristotelian virus and its variants lol.We are talking about original sources.I have not been able ,in our Islamic tradition, to find one interaction and there were many ,many of those reported,of one of the Sahhabbis saying to the Prophet saws”You said this,but the Quran said that.How could that be.?” Thank God,they had no contradiction detectors as far as I can see.That would come much later! (PS some obsessive scholarly type is sure to contradict me here lol)

2- Democratic Illusions: Make no mistake about it .Our schools are centers of indoctrination! And one of the forms of indoctrination is transmitting “Democratic values“..Some of these include ” We are all created equal”; the best way to arrive at Truth or make dicisions is through discussions”.”All opinions are equally valid”: Each of these is demonstrably false.But that in no way prevents the promoters of democracy from believing them.After all it’s an article of faith,no.

So,for example,all men are created equal” Really?! Have you not noticed?! Want to come to the Children’s section of  the Douglas hospital where I worked and taught  for several years and see the multiply -handicapped(May Allah have Mercy upon them) from birth?Have you not noticed that some people are tall and others short,some are strong and others weak,some are smart and others stupid.How can you possibly believe in this equality.And the same holds for opinions,Many are outrightly wrong and some are really primitive and foolish! So give me a break. And btw an old aphorism of mine “any system or person that denies reality is unlikely to succeed”! Any wonder that we are in such a state in the world?!

And how does this play out in a context of spiritual teaching?! Well,the Westerner believes firmly that his ideas are as good as anyone else s-including,of course the teachers. If they happen to be talented at robotic schoolwork and thus get excellent grades at school,they are even more arrogant.I had  a 19-year old niece who had just taken her first Comparative Religion 101 course vociferously arguing with me about Buddhism! The “chutzpah ” of it is astounding.But, democratically, her opinion is as valid as someone on the path of seeking truth for the last 50 years?! Her democratic right,no?!

c) Secularism; This is another huge subject, all around us, that merits more attention at another time..Fortunately most of the students that enter a spiritual path have graduated from that low level of understanding.But vestiges do remain! And those vestiges often take the form of “doubting”. It is a short step from doubting the existence of God to doubting that the teacher in front of you basically knows what he is talking about-even if he errs on the details at times. PS Obsessionalism, which is another derivative  of doubt is one more obstacle.”How could my teacher be authentic if his Arabic pronunciation is not perfect?” could be an example in the Islamic context.Or ” his pants go beyond his ankles” or “her hair is appearing beneath her hijab” .Yes,I have heard it all, lol

Given all these obstacles,this is ceratinly not a path for the frail-hearted or the weak and weary.This is a path for the “rijal”(the men and women of courage and integrity). Join us if you have the desire and the sincerity to do so.We will welcome you with open arms and  stern admonishments lol