Rabia al Basra was one of the greatest female Sufi saints.Besides being pious she was also very beautiful and of good character so she had many suitors- including the wealthy governor of Baghdad and the Sufi saint Hassan al Basri.She always refused their hand in marriage.When asked why she responded: “Whenever I love anything other than Him(her Lord) he sends me a test in that very area”.In telling us this, she is not simply recounting her own experience.She is instructing us on the nature of the “dunniya”(the world).

Almost every day,either in my professional life or my personal life,I encounter people suffering from human love.It can be a mother lamenting the behaviour of one of her children,a sister feeling betrayed by one of her own sisters,or a lover being rejected or mistreated by his beloved.These are not exceptions but rather they are the  custom in this world.God designed it this way so that we are obliged to turn to him. Even those relatively rare ideal relationships-husband and wife living together in a loving and respectful way for 50 years,turn into tragedy towards the end when one gets sick and dies or develops Alzheimers and can no longer recognize their spouse.Such is the way of the world.

“So what is Divine Love ,the one that doesn’t disappoint,you may ask?”. Interesting question, no doubt.There are two dimensions to the answer here.The first and perhaps most important is the Love of the Creator for His creation.I have experienced this and nothing can be more wonderful- although it usually does not last that long as we inevitably return to our human state.Immersed in the love of the Creator everything is Peace and Compassion and Knowledge and Acceptance.There is nothing more beautiful!

Then there is the love of the creature,the relative being for the Absolute.That can take several forms.One is “the quest”-the search for the Holy Presence and it involves considerable energy and commitment.What can be more valuable than that as a way to expend our efforts?! The other is the love of His qualities-the love of Beauty,the love of Justice,the love of Kindness,etc., etc.But the love of these qualities, to be complete, needs to realize that these qualities belong to a Being-the Absolute.And that Being is our Lord.Otherwise,those who love Justice are regularly confronted with injustice and thus disappointed.And those who love beauty in its worldly form,eventually see the beauty tarnished and corrupted.

So you are now confronted with a choice.You can follow the Hollywood scenarios and the Romantic poets and search for the love of a companion and thus be guaranteed grief or you can choose the love of your Lord as did Rabia al-Basra .If you choose the latter,you will be tested for sure.At the same time,you may well be given the former as a bonus.As,for example,in the case of Ibrahim who loved his son or Mohammed saws who deeply loved his first wife,Khadija.But those two great ones were always conscious of their priorities and their overwhelmimg priority was serving their Lord.And from that comes all goodness.Salaams,ibrahim