After a successful battle against the infidels, the Prophet saws said the following to his companions,” You have returned from the lesser jihad to the greater jihad.” The greater jihad (jihad-al-akbar)is the struggle against the nafs(ego)”. That is the jihad-a-nafs.

This concept, although universally present in all spiritual and religious traditions, seems to be the least popular of all spiritual ideas lol.And even when people accept it theoretically,they often seem unwilling to practice it concretely when the occasion occurs- especially if their emotions(negative, like anger or positive,like love) are involved.

Two stereotypical situations come to mind-the offended husband and the love-sick woman.We knew a seriously pious Muslim whose wife could no longer accept his depressive states and his ineffective bread-winning and asked for a divorce.Despite the fact that the Islamic teachings are clear on this matter,both about controlling anger and back-biting and allowing the divorced partner to get on with her life in peace,he could not contain himself from telling the most horrific stories about her including intimate details that should never have been revealed to anyone.His nafs was totally out of control.We have seen the same phenomena manifest itself in the political sphere when Canada reproached the Saudis for human rights abuses.They literally”blew their top”,recalled all their students that were studying in Canada,cancelled the flights of Saudi Airlines to Canada and sent the ambassador packing.We could legitimately call that “group nafs” and there is plenty of that as well.

On the other side of the coin we have the love-sick maidens(it is more and more common in males, as well, nowadays)who when confronted with the fact that she are in a seriously abusive relationship(potentially even deadly at times) she responds:”But I love him.I know he’s really not that bad” Really?! The nafs is talking once again but this time from the side of desire rather than aversion.

So what are we struggling against when we talk of Jihad-a-nafs?There are several ways of classifying the enemy here.One that I like particularly is the Christian model of the seven deadly sins-pride,anger,envy,laziness,lust,greed and gluttony.So you can conceive of the struggle as fighting each of these formidable opponents.Buddhism has another classification called the five ‘klesas'(obstacles to Enlightenment)-attachment(desire),aversion(anger and fear),agitation,laziness and doubt.That can also be a useful model.And ,of course, Islam speaks to each of these as well.One of the four volumes of Imam Ghazzali’s renowned classical work of Islamic scholarship “Revival of the Religious Sciences” is all about the bad characteristics that we have to combat complete with references to the Quran,hadith and great scholars and saints of the Islamic tradition.T.J. Winter has translated part of this volume as Al-Ghazali On Disciplining The Soul, published by The Islamic Texts Society Cambridge in 1995.You may want to look into this able translation if you would like to go further into this subject.

At this point I will be addressing only four of the dimensions of this struggle, which by no means belittles the importance of the other dimensions such as struggling against anger and envy and pride.I have chosen these four because they are the most concrete and easiest to start with.We will perhaps have occasion to cover the others at a later date.The basic principle for all of them is the same-become aware of what is going on(identify the problem),be patient and don’t act on your impulse, and call on your Lord for help.

The four areas of this practice we will be looking into are Food(thus gluttony),Sleep(thus  laziness or indolence),Sexuality(thus lust) and The Sins of the Tongue(thus gossip,back-biting and tale-bearing).Let us begin.

1) Food: Sigmund Freud has clued us into the importance of the mouth in his schema of the psychosexual stages of development.The first stage is The Oral Stage of development.The first thing we do as new-borns, after taking a breath( no sinning there lol.That is the infusion of the Divine spirit) is to seek for the breast.So food is very basic to our existence.

However,the specific purpose of food is to guarantee our physiological needs.However in contemporary society,food has become an obsession.There are now more cooking shows on television than Crime series! That says a lot.One year I was in New York City during Ramadan.It struck me more than usual how I was being constantly solicited to buy food! Usually I enjoy that lol.But as a fasting person ,it was annoying.Then again, think of all the industries involved-agriculture,dairy, baking,canning,frozen food,importers ,exporters ,transportation etc.Now that things are no longer products like milk that you sell to local customers but instead everything is an industry.And industries ,themselves,have a “bottom-line”i.e. maximizing profit,what else can we expect.It is no longer about food and certainly not about consistently healthy food.It is an INDUSTRY!The economics are what dominates.

Now, as  a Muslim, we are not against food tasting good.Some of the finest cooking known to man comes from the Iranian and Turkish culinary traditions.And both countries have a long-standing commitment to Islam ,so there is no contradiction here.I discovered a contrasting approach ,however,when I visited a Hindu guru in Kerala.Her idea was that food should have as little taste as possible- in order to preserve it’s ‘satvic’ quality(A Vedantic concept of keeping the energy neutral as opposed to ‘rajasic’-agitated- or ‘tamasic’-torporous and heavy). The food was aweful! I never tasted such insipid food in all my life!It was all ‘gruel’. I knew then and there this was not a path I could follow lol!

So what does our Prophet saws teach about food.He sal told us the best meal is one that fills one third of our stomach with solids,one third with liquid and leaves one-third empty-with air.That is certainly not our habit in North America! The only time I was able to practice that kind of eating was when I was on the Weight Watchers program! Instead we fill our stomach to the stretching point and then add a little more for the taste.Then there are the Xmas and Thanksgiving dinners where people routinely say”I ate so much I could barely move”.That is more or less the norm at holiday time.No wonder there is so much obesity in our societies.

All of this,however, is good if we are intent on practicing jihad-a -nafs.Because one of the best forms of this jihad is resisting overeating.One year while visiting my brother in New York I noticed that he had a certain luminosity which was not his usual state.Whenever I see that I get curious and investigate.I actually do that routinely when I see ‘nur’ on peoples’ faces-a relatively rare event.(I can tell many stories about that nur but let’s stay on track for now.)I then realized that he had been dieting! No other spiritual practices,just dieting.And the jihad that was involved(resisting eating) was enough to give him some spiritual presence!

Before getting on to the specifics of this practice, a side-note is in order.All of this does not apply for people who are anorectic in nature or people with various digestive disturbances that makes eating an unpleasant experience.They will have to find another means to fight their nafs(ego).In this light,I remember my first visit to the local Weight Watchers group.The lady at the reception desk was obviously already at her ideal weight.But she looked and felt like a witch! I almost left I was so repulsed by the darkness of her presence.Was I going to become a wizard myself lol?! But then  I reconsidered and decided the perception was simply  a test of my sincerity.I registered anyway! But for those focused primarily on the outward(i.e. most of the modern world) they should be advised that slimness is not a synonym for virtue.Didn’t Shakespeare warn us about this a long time ago in his play about Julius Caesar.”Yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look.He thinks too much :such men are dangerous” So Shakespeare was onto this a long time before the modern world took over our value systems and made the lean and hungry look ,as can be seen most clearly on the fashion runway,the criterion for virtue.

Ok.Now the practice.And this is difficult for many of us.Firstly we should be making dhikr before eating-i.e. remembering the real source of our food.By contrast, remember a particular iftar at Sheikh Muzzafer’s tekke in Istanbul where it was open-house every night during Ramadan.Once the call to prayer was out ,the men around the table(in all fairness,not the dervishes) ravenously attacked the food as if they were starving to death which, judging by their girth was not at all the case.This became a ‘foil’ experience for me- mirroring how NOT to be- although I do slip at times into the ravenous beast-mode. Estagfirullah.

Most Muslims, at this point, i.e. at the beginning of a meal, do a perfunctory”Bismillah” -the required sunna, and get on with their gourmandise quickly.Sheikh Nazim taught us a longer dua which I recite-when I remember, something I have become less systematic about since I left that tariqat. Another story.So first thing dhikr.Focus.

Then we should be eating slowly.Not quite as slowly as that iconic Mindfulness exercise of consciously eating a grape or a date for that matter.That exercise, although useful as a teaching device, can become obsessive if it  becomes your standard way of eating.You probably all know someone who eats that way-as if they are fighting with their food- and know how off-putting that can be.But the pace is important.And being mindful of the taste and the texture and the process of properly chewing and swallowing are all part of the correct approach,I would say.But don’t get obsessive about it or you will regret ever undertaking this exercise!

Then the hardest part.When to stop.There are people out there who just do this instinctively.Those are the people who maintain their ideal weight effortlessly.If ever envy gets the better of me ,it would probably be about this kind of person lol.It seems so easy for them.

For most of us it is a struggle.We have to be conscious of where we are in the process and what satiety means.We probably have to be patient as well since there is a lag-time between the eating and the feeling of satiety so that it is easy to bypass the signal.For sure, as soon as we feel fullness it is time to stop.In fact at that point we have probably gone too far.

But still the ‘nafs’ is urging us on.What Sheikh Nuh refers to as ‘the third plate of lasagna’ is still being promoted by our ego.”A little more.” it says”.It tastes so good.Just this one time.It’s a special occasion”. The justifications are endless.One of the tools that may be helpful here comes from the CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) approach.One of their most useful tactics is “self-talk”. What this means is that as your nafs is saying”Just a little more”or “but it tastes so good” your intellect or your conscience,if you will, could be answering”No, that’s enough.That’s the amount we decided in advance”or “That seems to me just the  right amount.It’s time to stop.” A battle is certainly going in here and one has to take sides if one is to be victorious.

This is a tough struggle for some of us,no doubt.And in much of this I am talking to myself! Try it out.You may definitely find an improvement in your ‘hal’ and your luminosity through this part of the jihad..

2) Sleep:  Equally difficult to controlling the eating impulse, and possibly more difficult for some, is the tendency to over-sleep or over-rest.Sheikh Nazim used to say that the ideal situation for the nafs was to be lying under a tree with the fruit falling right into one’s mouth.Obviously that is an exaggeration but it is a metaphor for our inherent tendency to indolence.

Now there are things that favour this tendency and others that help fight against.Part  of the wisdom of the Islamic injunction to do things, like prayer, collectively is that it helps overcome laziness.Most people would be embarrassed for others to see how lazy they can actually be.So,for example,in a group context they will almost never miss their fajr prayer.Alone, however,the excuses can be legion for doing so.So community is one of the tools we can use to combat our natural inertia.

Now Islam has some other useful tools in struggling against torpor.One of the best is the fajr(dawn )prayer and it’s extension(backwards in time)to the Tahhajud or night prayer.Although the latter was only mandatory for the Prophet himself,most of the serious ‘saliheen'(righteous ones) and definitely the Sufis have used this predawn prayer as a major instrument for spiritual elevation.

The relevant hadith here and it is saheeh is:”The Lord descends every night to the lowest heaven when one-third of the night remains and says”Who will call upon Me,that I may answer him?Who will ask of me,that I may give him?Who will seek My forgiveness,that I may forgive him?” So what is meant by this hadith? Since Allah has,by definition,no extension in time or space, being beyond both in His Essence,this can only be metaphorical.We are being told that the presence of Allah,the ‘barakat’ if you wish,the Peace,the Love is more palpable at that time.So this is a privileged time to get maximum benefit from our efforts.And for those who are sensitive to inner realities they can feel it to be so.But still,even with that knowledge it takes some effort to combat the ‘tamasic’ forces of torpor.But it is well-worth the effort! The whole next day is spiritually empowered if you do so.

The tool of ‘self-talk’ mentioned above can be useful here as well. As the nafs is saying:”I’m too tired”,”I’m feeling sick”or “That really isn’t enough sleep for me”the ‘aql'(intellect) has to answer.”This is our intended practice,you know ” or “Once we get to the vertical position and get mobilized,it will feel different”(True!) or use self-talk to tempt the nafs with:”We’ll have a nice cup of coffee and a couple of dates lol” Incidentally that was the way coffee was invented in the first place-to help the dervishes of Yemen to stay up at night in prayer!

Although the night-time is a privileged time for this effort,I don’t mean to say that there is no struggle going on during the day as well.There are the five prayers to do and the ‘awrad’ or ‘dhikr’ for those who are more spiritually ambitious.The major enemy then becomes procrastination.That is a huge subject and I have been asked on several occasions to talk about it as it affects our worldly life as well.The student who keeps putting-off their homework,the bachelor who keeps accumulating dirty clothes,the elderly who keep putting off their necessary medical tests.l.All are procrastinators.And procrastination can become a serious problem as it leads to internal tension that just keeps growing until we do something. Another form of laziness to deal with!

Now,like in each of these dimensions,there is another side to this coin- the workaholic who can never stop.Some people go in the opposite direction and are too active.I,myself,have been accused of this at times and it is a family characteristic.One may get into this mode for several reasons-anxiety, over-ambitiousness,being unable to tolerate silence or loneliness or rest.Again,we all know people like this.I call it the “Manhattan Syndrome” after observing lunch-time in Manhattan where everyone seems to be in a rush to get back to work and no-one seems to be enjoying themselves.Contrast this to the traditional French 2 1/2 hour lunch break which includes leisurely eating and a siesta! Once again what is needed is balance.The best example I have witnessed of this balance remains my time with Sheikh Nazim.He never seemed to be rushed,no matter how many people were around or how much demands were made on him and he never seemed to be torporous either..He moved through time in a frictionless way.He was ,in fact, more Zen then the Buddhists themselves.

Sexuality Sheikh Hamza Yusuf once approached his elderly but still intellectually sharp and wise father and asked him (I’m not sure in which context possibly after being asked to consult with some of his students”When does this libido end so that we can be in peace?” And his father responded”Not until the body is cold on a slab in the mortuary” lol.And I have ,in fact, seen this mechanism at work in very elderly gentlemen!

The sexual drive is seen as a problem in all the spiritual traditions.The Buddhists refer to it as one of the ten negative karmas,the Catholics seem at times to be obsessed with it even to the extent of seeing the female gender as the incarnation of temptation and sin and the Muslims have been warned against fornication(‘zina’) in no uncertain terms.Now,some of the traditions, like the sannyasin tradition amongst the Hindus ,the monastic tradition in Christianity and the Radhaswami Sikhs also known as Satsangis strongly recommend celibacy as the solution to this problem.They claim that even halal or kosher sex within marriage empties one of vital spiritual energy(‘ojas’ I believe the Satsangis call it) and thus should be avoided whenever possible.This has its inevitable consequences- like the crisis of pedophilia in Catholic priests,miserable,deprived relationships amongst the Satsangis and corrupt gurus(all too common) amongst the Hindus and Yogis.

Both Islam and Judaism disagree with this extremist position and thereby represent a true “Middle Way’.For both of these Semitic traditions sexuality is a potential danger but it is also the source of much goodness-like satisfied family life,feeling grounded and peaceful,and the birth of progeny-highly celebrated in the Semitic tradition and looked down upon as just more ‘samsara’ and illusion in the Indian traditions.

Despite this openness to sexuality in the Islamic tradition,there are  conditions.This activity is only permitted within the bounds of marriage(the age of slavery and concubines being over) and desiring partners outside of these confines is seen as sinful.Thus Allah tells us in the Quran 24:30-31 that”The faithful should lower their gaze and guard their private parts” as well as ‘Say to the believing women that they shall lower their gaze and guard their private parts and shall not disclose their beauty and ornaments”(i.e. not be seductive) ….except to their husbands.The Prophet saws as well has warned us as did Jesus about the “adultery of the eyes”.

Now, how does all this play out in the modern world?! Modesty has been all but evacuated as a concept and exhibitionism is everywhere to be seen.If one had to summarize modern female dress and its underlying tenets it would be the opposite of the Divine recommendations.It would say”Do as much as possible and show as much as possible to provoke as much reaction as you possibly can”.Hollywood and some of the music and dance entertainers(think Madonna and Britney Spears)  could not be clearer in this message.

When one adds in the pornography industry, in all its forms, one has a massive, almost irresistible, movement going on  in the exact opposite direction to the Divine instructions.How many of us know of pious Muslims(and probably Christians as well) who have been hooked on the porn videos on the internet? They seem to be the most visited sites as well,for the general public!And those believers who are hooked often feel really bad about it.Not only does it become an issue of personal self-esteem but it can also put their marriages in jeapardy.

Meanwhile,the rest of society mostly thinks it’s fine.They would think that what I am saying here is prudish and fundamentalist!The Supreme Court of Canada ,for example,made a decision that ‘les danses a dix” (where the stripper also allowed the men to touch her if they left ten dollars on the table for her favours) was still within Canadian norms and values.The worst part is that they may be right!

So where does this leave us, as believers who want  to improve our religious practice?.In a very difficult situation.If we even talk about the importance of modesty,we get these empty stares from others which seem to be saying”In which century are you living?” If we practice looking away(and I have seen this in reality) we are seen as disrespectful of the person or inherently dishonest.And if we affirm that we are against sex outside of marriage,we are looked at as old school, backward or even fanatical!.

Despite all this,we need to persist in our beliefs because this is what our Lord wants.Now, most believing Muslims would never consider actual fornication-which is a ‘kabira’-a major sin.But what about “adultery of the eye”? That is a big one.And it doesn’t have to be internet porn.The temptation is all around us-in the streets,in the cinema,on the television even at times in our families.

The Prophet saws is reported to have said to his son-in-law Ali ra “The first look is for you.The second look is against you”.I understand by this that the first glance just happened-wherever that may be.But after that the Quranic edict to lower your gaze comes into effect.”Don’t linger.Don’t look back.” Checking out the girls,or the boys from the female side is not an acceptable practice for Muslims.Try to avoid it. It isn’t easy! But there are a host of unseen benefits.

Once again the”self-talk” approach may be helpful.”Yes,she’s pretty,but the beings on the other side are even more beautiful”  “Yes,she’s nice to look at but Allah forbade it and He is more beautiful still”. Or even”If you keep looking ,your desire will build and that will almost surely lead to frustration and disappointment”. The possibilities for contrary phrases is almost limitless.If you find good ones that work for you,please share them with us lol.

It should be added here that the general movement of Muslim societies towards ‘modernism’ is not helping.The general tendency to early marriage in traditional Muslim societies has been shifted to later and later ages, often based on economic calculations like finishing one’s education and being able to afford family life.This has meant for many young Muslim men years and years of walking around with ‘raging hormones’ trying to control themselves.While I was doing a sabbatical in Jordan,I was told that the going norms were that the male candidate had to own his own apartment, have $25,000 U.S as dowry and show proof of a good job before the families of the women candidates would consider them.Needles to say, there were not many Jordanians who could fit that bill.So many men and women were unmarried and frustrated.

This, of course,flies in the face of the sunnah where the ‘maher'(dowry) at times could be a liter of camel’s milk or a pound of dates.But the ‘tawakkul'(trust in God) and the understanding that the ‘rizk'(provision) is from God has been replaced by accounting sheets and auditors.What a tragedy! Not to mention all the sexual misdemeanors that issue forth from this .kind of situation.I won’t go into the details here as it is too gross even for my Western mind.

The Sins of Speech :This is ,perhaps,the most difficult of all as it is also the most common deviation.I have already written two articles on this blog- Refining the Notion of Ghiba and Husn al-Dhann on this question -in order to make this practice both doable and practical.I felt the need to do so as the blanket condemnation about saying anything negative about anyone seemed to be both impractical and unnecessary.Read the stated articles if you wish to follow my thinking on these matters.

That being said,there is still much room for improvement in our behaviour around speech.Many of us enjoy gossiping about others for no reason other than that is has become customary and it helps us pass the time together.That is not an acceptable reason.Then there are situations where we just want to ‘diss’ someone to make us feel better about ourselves or because we have some resentment towards that person for something they have done to us or said about us in the past.That is not acceptable either.So we have to be careful

So what do we do?There is a ‘riwaya’ about Abu-Bakr Siddique that Hamza Yusuf likes to cite where he entered the bathroom with pebbles in his mouth so that he would not speak.I’m guessing that was about not saying sacred words in the place of excretion but,in any case,I don’t think this is a practice we can recommend to the general public.There is a nice French expression,however, which says “Tournez la langue sept fois avant de parler”( Twist your tongue  around seven times before talking)In English we say at times”Bite Your Tongue” and the Islamic teaching of finding seventy excuses for your brother(or sister) before condemning them is in the same spirit.

The bottom line is that we have to be cautious in our speech.We should hesitate before saying anything bad about some-one and ask”Is this necessary?Is this useful?Is there a positive purpose in this speech?”The Buddhists say to ask ourselves :”Is it factual(true);is it helpful?; is it kind; is it pleasant and is it timely?” As usual Buddhists are somewhat excessive and imbalanced in their approach.We cannot always be pleasant and kind. Otherwise,we become artificial and saccharine in our approach, like the Buddhist monks are  if you meet them lol.That is why in Islam we are taught “amr bil maroof and nehi al munkar”(to enjoin the good and prevent the evil).Y ou cannot do that if you are always trying your utmost to be kind and pleasant.Sometimes we need to be like the surgeon or the dentist causing short-term pain for long-term gain.

All of this is not to say we should “let it all hang out”or even to be always”honest’ as I was taught in childhood.We need kindness and discernment and wisdom to get the balance right.Maybe more like a Chinese menu than a Japanese Buddhist-“sweet and sour”the favourite dish of many lol. But make the sourness count.Don’t be insensitive or sadistic.That is quite a complex and subtle prescription I am recommending but I am unable to make it simpler for now.I will write further about it as my own practice in this area unfolds.

Addendum about anger I did say earlier in the text that I would confine myself to four dimensions but I think this one bears mentioning as well.We all know that anger is mostly a negative thing. However most of us are not very skillful at managing it.The Sahhaba(companions of the Prophet) noticed that when he got upset and this did happen at times despite his elevated character,all they would see is that his face reddened.I have seen this as well with some of the well-behaved Sufi Sheikhs.They don’t start shouting at the other person or threatening them or tweeting some demeaning descriptions of them as we see lately on the political front.Instead they stay mindful of their emotional state and talk only when the emotion has abated.

Now again,we are not recommending total suppression of our emotional life.There is often truth in what the anger is telling us and we don’t want to lose that Truth.We may in fact want to bring up what we realized in that moment about the other person and their behaviour.But in that case it is the timeliness that is most important.And then there is the manner of formulating it in a way that the other can benefit from.Many people at that point will refuse the information and try to justify themselves out of pride.But that is no longer our affair.We have acted in the best possible manner and done our due diligence.How the other deals with it and his or her nafs is their affair.

Conclusion:Now you have the whole program -almost complete.As one of my favourite Gestalt teachers Erving Polster used to say: “It’s simple but it’s not easy”. Let’s get going and see how we do!This is the Royal Road to Spiritual and Personal Development.God be with us all!