Category Archives: Psychology

Metaphysics, Modern Living, Psychology

Learning from the Existentialists-“Bad Faith”

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This is a citation from the Existentialists-most particularly Jean-Paul Sartre.As you know,I think we need to learn from everyone and every situation.Muslims, particularly, need to reflect on this phenomenon as it is endemic in our community.It does have a parallel concept in Islam-nifaq(hypocrisy) but that concept has a more specific meaning around those who don’t really believe in the religion.The concept of”bad faith” has a more general application and can apply to believing Muslims and Christians as well.Thus it has a more general applicability.See if you can spot it in or around you.This is a very important matter for Muslims who are more susceptible to social and family pressure than most and often use the terms of the religion -‘adab’, ‘bir walideyn’,avoiding ‘ghiba’ etc. to prevent themselves from being authentic.Think about it.

Bad faith (French: mauvaise foi) is a philosophical concept utilized by existentialist philosophers Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre to describe the phenomenon in which human beings, under pressure from social forces, adopt false values and disown their innate freedom, hence acting inauthentically.[1] It is closely related to the concepts of self-deception and ressentiment.

Metaphysics, Modern Living, Psychology

Dealing With the Other

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I am not a great fan of the Existentialists,to be sure.A group of hyper- cerebral atheists is not my cup of tea,so to speak, But one thing Jean-Paul Sartre said has stuck with me through all the years since I read it. “L’enfer,c’est les autres”(Hell is the Others)I am sure you know what he means,if you look honestly at your life.

Now ethically,in all the religions and even amongst secularists we are supposed to “treat our neighbour as ourselves”.But, what if that neighbour,that friend,that family member is a proverbial “pain in the butt”.What if that neighbour continually causes us pain or frustrates and annoys us to the point we can no longer bear it.Repressing and containing our reactions often doesn’t work.We end up either exploding on the other person or avoiding them altogether.”Ghosting” is a new and ugly way of doing just that!What do we do then?That is one of the great arts of living.

Now,theoretically ,we are supposed to show patience and tolerance and compassion.But that can be very difficult at times-read impossible.So are there other methods? I think there are but don’t expect them to work all the time.Two terms that I like to use are “calling people out” and “mixing it up.”Calling them out” implies expressing your observations and your feelings -but in a way that is not assaultive (although the aggression you feel cannot be hidden totally)but that highlights their bad behaviour and your feelings about it.”Mixing it up” implies going back and forth again with a maximum of objectivity and a minimum of rancor until your point is made or at least until you have made your best possible effort to do so.None of this is easy but it is certainly better than being emotionally bullied and building up resentment.

So try it out and tell me how it works for you.Don’t be a victim .Be an intervenor instead.Salaams,Ibrahim

Modern Living, Psychology

The Great Hack

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Here we go again! The proverbial dark black pot(the regular media including Netflix which is essentially a Hollywood variant)) calling the electric kettle(Facebook,Twiiter and Instagram ) black lol

Ok. The latest in vogue Netflix production”The Great Hack”. You know what?! Netflix is hacking your brain as are all the regular media,with hyped, mildly paranoid propaganda.Cambridge Analytica and all the data-sharing is manipulative but IT IS NOT THE REAL PROBLEM,by any means! Even Trump and his election are not the real problem .Nor is Google or Facebook or Amazon! There ARE very real and deep problems and they have nothing to do with data-sharing and manipulation.Here are are just a few of them.

1) Our educational system does not teach people how to think.Instead it is a propaganda machine for politically correct ideology and Scientific Materialism

2) People are taught to respect the experts who are just as often wrong as right and often supremely impractical and out of touch

3) Our politicians are in the pockets of the corporations big-time and therefore are no longer acting for the public good.That was true long before Trump!

4) Schools of Business Administration are teaching current and future administrators to put maximum emphasis on efficiency and productivity and profits to the detriment of everyone else including their clients and their employees who are increasingly stressed out.

5) People are educated to use their reason but not to develop their inner sight,their ear of Truth and their subtle heart.This despite decades of Research trying to highlight the importance of Emotional Intelligence.Still not operationalized in any official educational system I know of and

5) Doubt and Cynicism as well as the accompanying relativism and atheism and agnosticism are endemic in our societies so that morality has been severely compromised in much of the modern world.

The list goes on and on You will notice that none of this has anything to do with data-sharing.in fact if anything,data-sharing is a consequence of this lack of values rather than its cause..

Metaphysics, Psychology, Spiritual Practice

The Mind!

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Do not analyze what I say. When you begin to analyze anything I say, your mind will contradict. The nature of the mind is to contradict. The nature of the mind is to upset you. To make you feel out of sorts. To make you believe something is wrong someplace. That is the nature of the mind. The mind always leads you astray. You cannot have faith in your mind. You cannot believe in your mind. Remember what your mind is. It’s a conglomeration of thoughts of the past and worries about the future. That’s all your mind is. But to come into truth, you have to stand naked before God. By naked I mean you have to give up everything. All your wants and desires.

I don’t mean you have to be like Ramana Maharshi. When he came to the temple in the beginning when he was a boy. He took off all his clothes and stood naked in the street and it started to rain and he shaved his head. I’m not referring to that, you do not have to do this. But what you have to do is to empty your mind. You have to empty your mind of all thoughts. It’s not that hard, really.

– Robert Adams, CW, Ts 19

Modern Living, Psychology

Millenials,Oy Vey!

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One of the major problems of the millenials is what I call “The Enthusiasm Deficit”! Whether it is because they were given too much or disappointed too often or taught too many times to be rational and systematic,the fact remains,they have a hard time getting excited- about anything.Now if Jesus is right,and I believe he is,that we have to become like children to enter the kingdom of heaven,they have a BIG problem.My daughter was telling me how enthusiastic her 3-month old baby was when he saw a big bottle of milk lol.The milennials have to recover that kind of excitement if they wish to succeed in life.May Allah grant them His Mercy in this matter.

Islam, Psychology

“Inshallah” unpacked.

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Asalamu aleykum,brothers and sisters.Since there is so much overuse and outright abuse of the “Inshallah” expression,let us go over its’ origins- at least the most important one.

A group of Quraysh came to the Prophet saws and asked him  a set of three questions given to them by the Jews.One of the questions about who the youth were who escaped  Prophet saws did not have the answer to so he told them he would answer their question the next day,hoping for a Revelation from his Lord.But Allah made him wait fifteen days and endure abuse from the Quraysh because he had not said “inshallah,I will give you the answer”,acknowledging that all knowledge comes from our Lord who endows it on us as He pleases.He was eventually vindicated by the revelation of surat al Kahf two weeks later.In that surat Inshallah and Mashallah are used for the first time.

What does this tell us about the use of the term “inshallah”? That we need ,all of us,to recognize our dependency on Allah for both our understanding and the results of our actions.This is NOT an excuse to put all our failings and our neglicence and laziness on the account of Allah Estagfirullah.So inshallah is for those issues over which we have limited control.Examples”I am working hard at school this term.Inshallah I will get an A average”or”I should apologize to my parents for my bad behavious.Inshallah they will accept my apologies”. On the other hand,”inshallah I will do the dishes tonight”or “Inshallah I will pray more regularly” is not an acceptable use of the term.These are things over which we have control.We should not “use the name of the Lord in vain” as the Old Testament teaches us.

As the Christians say”Render unto Cesar what is Cesar’s and render onto God what is God’s.”So we can say “render unto Ahmad( the generic Muslim lol) what is Ahmad’s and render unto Allah what is Allah’s” lol.Ahmad can do the dishes and respect his parents.That is the responsiblity of Ahmad not of God.I hope people can get the point! Salaams,Ibrahim

Modern Living, Psychology

Learning and Ageing

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Learning-one of the three deepest purposes in life.You never know where it’s going to happen-although there are some venues more fertile than others( neither the next high-profile sports game read “The Raptors” nor the local bar -read talking about nothing in particular in a semi-drunk state)- are likely to be fertile lol.So “Morning Joe” MSNBC had a guest- author-Arthur Brooks- talking about his latest article in The Atlantic .It’s about the natural decline that happens with ageing.He states that the way to remain contented is to do two things-1) Adopt the teacher role rather than the innovator(Sorry,but I’m obliged to do both !. and 2) begin divesting from material things,unproductive relationships and unnecessary activities! Had come to more or less the same conclusions on my own.GMTA lol