Category Archives: Psychology

Psychology, Spiritual Practice, Sufism

The Istikhara Prayer

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(This is an answer to a request from an old friend for guidance. I have now added an important addendum at the end of the article. Be sure you read it before acting on this guidance! )

This is where Istighara is so important! We can’t figure this out with our mind that knows so little in reality .I am not referring to the usual perfunctory(habitual but superficial) Istikhara.Rather to the deep,soul-searching convinced Istighara. I remember having a discussion about this with a Sheik in Jordan. He was of the belief,and I gather that this is the usual alim position,that no matter what happened after the Istighara prayer, it was the will of Allah so all was fine.! All due respect to Shekh ——,I strongly disagree.That is like taking a hammer and saying no matter how I swing it the nail will go in properly.Wrong! Istighara is a skill we have to develop.

So here’s the teaching.I’m sure you know or can find the dua.That’s the thing the ulema teach first and the part that is least important.What is important is the attitude”Oh,Allah.I am weak.You are All-Powerful.I am relatively ignorant.You are all-Knowing.Guide me in this matter.” It is also very important, if you ask this question to Allah, that you remain open to the answer.If you have already decided what you are doing,don’t do Istighara! Because then if Allah shows you the opposite and you go ahead with your intention,you are in disobedience- “massiya”,big time! So first,humility and open-mindedness.

Then the answer may come in 4 ways(the last one I only discovered in the last few years):

1) Dream symbolism(sometimes people need help with dream interpretation.Be careful who you consult on that level because consultants are often full of prior convictions-no good).

2) Feelings in the heart.Sheikh Nuh seemed to use this one a lot.You ask a yes or no question.If you wake up feeling anxious and constricted,it’s a no.If you wake up feeling expanded and peaceful it’s a yes.Some interpreters feel it’s the same for colours in the dream-green and white are yes ;black and red are no.The heart can give many ,more subtle answers as well.You then need to listen to its soft voice.

3) Facts on the ground.These are the ayats(signs) of Allah.When I was at the beginning of my search and trying to get to India ,I ended up in Sweden visiting some old friends.I was lost because India was under flood alert everywhere.I was watching TV with my friends and a documentary came up about Jerusalem.I knew immediately that was my next step.That’s how I became Muslim.Don’t let the scholars diss TV to you lol.

4) And most recent-third parties sayings or dreams especially if the sayings are out of character for the person.That is a sure sign they are from Allah. In one of my more recent situations a cousin of mine called pleading with me to mediate a quarrel with his sister.I wanted to do it to help the family out and I did Istighara.My brother in NYC had a dream in which I was in an ugly  fight with one of the family members and he felt worried about me.I pulled out of the offer and over time it was proven that I had made the right decision.I’ll spare you the details for now.

So do this carefully and follow the Guidance.It will save you a lot of grief.

Salaams,Ibrahim

Addendum: There are actually three types of Istikhara dreams! The first is a dream indicating our desires or wishes. These are the Freudian dreams and should only be used to understand your weaknesses. The second kind of dream is the fear dreams. This represents the projection of your fear-driven psyche.T hey are the dreams our Prophet saws told us to ignore. The third type and the one we can rely on are the Guidance dreams. Those are the truly useful ones. Now, admittedly, the distinction between these three is not always obvious.It takes a certain amount of intuitive discernment to make the distinctions.If you can’t figure it out, you can consult but be advised that the usual Muslim sources of guidance(Imams and scholars) are usually unreliable in this area as they do not understand the components of psychology involved. Psychologists and psychoanalysts are equally unreliable as they usually believe everything in a dream is a projection of our egos! Wrong!  So proceed cautiously!  Salaams, Sufi Ibrahim

Modern Living, Politics, Psychology

Terrorist attacks in Paris

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The real cause of all outer events is an inner reality.I felt that reality on my last two journeys to France and told people of the toxic environment in Paris.That is why problems cannot be solved at the level on which they occur.We need to go deeper.But that usually means putting into question our hidden assumptions and convictions and that is something most people are unwilling to do.So God intervenes and makes the messages louder.Still people

refuse to understand.”Surely man is contrary”The Quran