The bottom line.No one can manage the complexity of the modern world.So the journalists just look for the kaka,people like Obama rationalize things into inaction and paralysis and Trump makes up stories to keep afloat.The only real answer is to start simplifying.(In all fairness Trump is the only one who
touches that base from time to time).If we don’t simplify,we will self-destruct!
Category Archives: Psychology
The Autism Epidemic
Here it is.The explanation I have been looking for.You don’t have to listen to the whole lecture as the presenter is not a skilled speaker.This IS the bottom line,however,as far as I can figure out.BIG Problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yydZZanRJ50
A Series of Concentration camps
Thinking about day-cares I have seen,I realized that our society is organized as a sequence of concentration camps!
- The almost mandatory large or even smaller daycare.As opposed to the organic way of kids growing up around their mothers,their extended family and the neighbours,they are herded, often enough kicking and screaming, into commercial daycares where the main purpose is to keep them orderly and to generate income for the owners and workers.As compensation,the parents give in to all the childrens’ demands outside of camp hours and buy them whatever they can afford.(It is intriguing to note here that when they do charity ads for orphanages in Africa,many of the children look so much more alive and real than their counterpart Western zombie kids, despite the fact that the latter have so much more material goods!)
- Then we move into the concentration camp of public schools where young active,creative children are required to sit quietly for long hours and to learn things that have nothing to do with their real lives.This in contrast to learning from their actual living environments and experimenting with their creativity.In compensation ,these concentration camp kids are allowed to play sports in the off-hours and pressure their parents into buying them whatever gadgets are the most in vogue in the marketplace.
- The last, and perhaps longest-lasting camp, is the workplace-conceived of and designed by those least creative of professionals- the MBA’s and modern architects.This is often an airless “open” office space with cubicles separated by artificial dividers where there is only “canned” air, constant sound,no privacy and excessive work demands leading to very high levels of stress and frequent burn -out.The compensation is that you get to have a beer or a glass of wine(for non-Muslims that is) after hours and dream of your once-yearly vacation to Cuba or other southern clime..
- There you have the series:-daycares, public schools and inhuman workplaces.Is it any wonder that people are so crazy and behave so badly.Thoughts?!
Overcoming Racism
This one is controversial but it needs to be said.There is much talk about racism especially in the United States but there is also much misunderstanding.Fortunately I had a very good teacher ,Sheikh Nazim al Qubrusi, who was both universally loving and yet aware of distinctions between people and nations.He had none of those liberal delusions of us all being the same.
So here is what I propose. If you truly want to be free of racism, start with your own nation/race-the one you identify with.Then take a sheet of paper or an electronic note-pad if you insist on being digital. I prefer to be old-fashioned way on this one lol.Divide the sheet into two.On one, side write all the qualities you like about your own natiuon/race.On the other side write down all its faults.
If you have a goods balance between the two sides and have properly identified credits and debits of your own biological origins, you are well on your way to being a non-racist.You will also be in a much better position to accept and deal with other nations.If, on the other hand, you can only see qualities in your people you can be assured that you are still imbued with racism.If you see mostly defects in your racial/national origins then you are a self-hating so and so or a reverse racist.
However,if you don’t believe in national/racial differences and think it’s all about individual differences ,you are living in a delusional world. And I was taught in psychiatric training not to argue with delusions.So I will leave you alone and you can forget entirely about this teaching .
The Magic Formula
The Magic Formula
The Magic Formula is UPR– Understanding, Practice, Realization. This book(the upcoming one) is primarily about understanding. In order for it to work, however, you have to put the understanding into practice. That requires intention and effort and even courage. Then your internal state will change (realization).Happy trails to you!
The Piffle Rating Scale
The Piffle Rating Scale
I was in the midst of reading a large tome about meditation written by a Buddhist scholar that I would prefer to leave unnamed for now.That is mostly because I have respect for the work he has done over the years to promote the Buddhist contribution to psychology.. Although the book was in the 600-page realm, I had the distinct feeling that the important parts could easily have been explained in a 20-page article. Ah, such are the vagaries of the publication industry. But it got me thinking.
In reflecting on this phenomenon, I realized that we have, in the English language, a large vocabulary of words that describe this phenomenon, words such as “piffle”, ”drivel”, balderdash”, ”bunk”, “gobbledygook”, ”gibberish”, ”poppycock”, etc., etc. I will start with Webster’s Dictionary definition of my two favorites:1) piffle: talk or writing regarded as insignificant or nonsensical and 2) gobbledygook: talk or writing that is pompous, wordy, involved, full of long Latinized(or Greek) words .I particularly like the latter term as it refers directly to the phenomenon I am trying to underline. This kind of language is the substrate, the infrastructure if you will, of the “Cult of the Intellect” that I have been working so hard to undermine as I feel it is sabotaging, on many levels,our capacity to problem-solve and be practical.
As I explained in my previous article on Deprogramming, over thev years I have developed a hypersensitivity to this ”drivel” so much so that when I hear it, I get a bad smell in my head. he other sensation I get ,when I do my best to unpack this kind of thinking is that my brain is being twisted into a pretzel-always an indication that these are “mind-productions”
Now, the problematic part of this disconnected thinking is that it has good press and is the “monnaie courante” of the intellectual world. The more difficult something is to understand, the more it is considered profound and credible in that world. You will find it not only in philosophy where it has probably reached its apogee but in all other areas of intellectual endeavor form stream of consciousness literature like Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce and even in so-called “empirical science”. Abstract thought and theory are taken for fact in all of these fields. And the “critical thinking” supposed to be taught in our educational institutions which was to save us from wrongful speculation and conjecture has ended up being another force for confusion being enacted in a reflex and predictable way(social conditioning) rather than a discerning one.
Thankfully, there are some counterveiling forces at work nowadays. One of them is meditation where one attempts to get beyond the mind to Zen “seeing” and “ hearing” on an inner level. Paradoxically, however you get Buddhist authors like the one mentioned at the beginning of this article who begin reflecting on “no-mind”. Interesting oxymoron involved there lol. Also, you have lucid people like Eckhart Tolle talking to us about words as “pointers” and pointing out that the pointers are not the reality. We also have Byron Katie , one of the California-based spiritual illuminati telling us that all our problems come from the same place-we believe the contents of our own minds! These are salutary influences no doubt. So is the Goleman/Gardiner models of multiple intelligences, Although if I listen to modern-day students I do not hear these models being applied seriously.
Before we can fix this problem we need to identify it correctly. And .horror of horrors ,in imitation of the empirical scientists ,we will try to quantify it. Thus ”The Piffle Index” or “The Piffle Rating Scale”. What you have to do here is examine a given talk or piece of writing and give it a rating from 1-10 based on how much of the verbiage actually refers to nothing other than its own words and concepts. The higher the rating the more the piffle content. Thus, the bigger the number, the worst it is-a kind of intellectual toxicity index. Try it out. You might be surprised at how much of what you have been hearing or reading is bunk! It could change your life when you come to terms with it. You could end up being like Bob Dylan, Bill Gates or Steven Jobs and simply dropping out of university. I will surely not be popular with your parents after that lol! Salaams,Ibrahim
The Importance of Asperger’s
“Asperger’s is a developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and non-verbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests.” I am not bringing up this issue as a matter of clinical interest.Rather, it is an element of vital interest in our daily lives and can seriously contribute to human suffering,especially in the area of relationships. Now,officially,Asperger’s has been eliminated from our diagnostic lexicon -DSM-5- in favour of”Autistic Spectrum Disorder”(ASD). Unfortunately,changing the nomenclature does not eliminate the reality as many so-called ‘Aspies’ will tell you.And in an age where autism has reached epidemic proportions,we are sure to meet many cases of autism in our daily life.I see them all around me and I don’t mean just in my practice!
As many psychiatrists of a certain age,we were raised on the Freudian model in which there were “hysterics”(usually women) and obsessives(usually men). Vive la Difference,as many would say.It appears,however, that there has been a paradigm shift,at least amongst the psychologically minded.Now we talk about the Asperger’s(usually male) and the Borderlines(usually female).And the relationship between these two can be very problematic,to say the least.A lady I knew,stuck in a relationship with a partner she suspected of having Asperger’s, went onto a website designed for such partnerships.One of the women posting on the site said the following:”If you are currently in a relationship with someone suffering from Asperger’s,get out of there as quickly as possible.None of your needs as a woman will be met”That may sound like an extreme position but there is no doubt that it contains a kernel of truth.
Now,who are these Asperger’s’ people.A note of warning here.Often the professionals ,even the experts,get this one wrong.That is either because they do not have enough information from third parties or because they define the unusual,repetitive behaviours in too narrow a sense.Remember that many of these people are highly functional and successful.It is a commonly held view in psychological milieus that both Bill Gates(Of Microsoft fame) and Mark Zuckerberg(of Facebook fame) are Aspergers.I cannot attest to that not having assessed the myself but this gives you an idea of the subtlety of the task at hand.One of my best friends turned out to be an Asperger’s and it took me thirty years to realize it and then again only after two unsuccessful marriages on his part!
The essential characteristic of the Asperger’s person is that “they don’t get it!”.They are not connected emotionally to others .They have little or no empathy and they cannot listen to input from others Sounds like a lot of people you know,eh?The portrait of this personality type is Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.I tell all my patients that I suspect to be in a relationship with this an Asperger’s type to watch that T.V. show and see if they can relate to him.It doesn’t take most of them very long to see the relevance.And it can be devastating in a relationship just as we see Amy suffering with Sheldon..There’s no-one home! For females,this seems to be particularly difficult.They want to be recognized. They want to communicate.Males are,generally,simpler creatures.If they get their physical needs met,they are satisfied.This may well be changing but not as quickly as some people think.
So what do we do if we suspect we are in a relationship with an Aspie.Big problem! The fact is that we,in psychiatry ,don’t have any robust treatments to offer.Even our treatments for the more intense Autistic syndromes are only partially effective and often quite superficially at that. After all ,we are dealing,essentially, with a neurological condition and there are no medications or other interventions that can affect the syndrome at its source.So for now we are at an impasse.We can do social relations training but again that teaches proper behaviour at its best but doesn’t address the heart of the matter.and often it is “the heart” that is missing.The best advice I can give for now is:identify it,accept it and adapt.Or run away ASAP lol
Self-Talk:The Three Denials
Several years ago I met a psychiatric colleague who I had studied with at the beginning of my residency training at the University of Montreal.He had developed a reputation as a teacher of CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). I had a question for him.” Most of the people I give CBT homework assignments like keeping a thought log don’t end up doing them. What do you suggest?”He responded that these kind of homework assignments don’t work.S o I asked him what he did”I teach them self-talk.That’s the most effective part of CBT”. For those who are not aware of CBT, let me clarify that the basis of this treatment is to replace dysfunctional, irrational thoughts with rational ones.
O.K. “So How can I put this to work on myself?”I thought.I began watching my own internal process and realized that there were at least three states I had to deal with.1) The first was the rush of ideas and plans and concerns that fill up our minds on a regular basis.”I need to finish this quickly”;”I have to get on to the next chore”;”When will I find time to do this other thing?There is a deadline for that”. All of these”busy” thoughts crowd our minds and create stress. Response“There’s no rush”(And most often there isn’t.)
2) The surges of anxiety.We detect a spot on our skin.Maybe it’s a melanoma?! Our child is late from school.Maybe they had a car accident.A patient misses an appointment.Maybe they made a suicidal attempt.And each time we think these thoughts our adrenaline increases and the adrenocortical system gets activated.Reponse:“There’s no danger”and usually there isn’t.
3) What Sheikh Nuh called the third piece of Lasagna lol-the desire reflex.We just had an ice cream and we want another and another.The bulimic reflex.We spent time with a person we really care about and we want to see them again right away.But it’s too early and they will feel invaded.This can even take a spiritual form.I just experienced a spiritual state(hal) and I want it to continue.But you can’t do it.That state is not in your control.Only your Lord can order it. Response”There’s no need.”
For those who need a spiritual reference we can see here three of the Buddhist klesas(obstacles to enlightenment-desire,aversion and agitation.)With this simple method we can quiet those klesas.I am in the process,myself, of testing this out.Try it yourself and send me your comments.
In resumé, remember:”There’s no rush,there’s no danger,and there’s no need”Try it and see.
The New Year’s Eve Delusion
I remember two watershed events in my youth-the High School Graduation Prom and the New Year’s eve celebrations.I think I had a major depression after the first and was definitely in a funk after the latter -every year until I “got it”
“How could this be?” you may reasonably ask.Don’t forget I was raised on the theme song: “Enjoy yourself.It’s later than you think”Really! It’s still the theme song of most Westerners.Isn’t it all about fun and recreation?Isn’t that the purpose of life?To quote a well-known hedonist and materialist”Wrong!”
By my early twenties I was convinced this was the wrong way to go.At first,I would allow myself to be guiltified and doubt my own instincts.Maybe I just didn’t know how to enjoy myself.Maybe I wasn’t”letting go sufficiently.That didn’t quite make sense as my parents, especially my Mom, had highly valued having a good time and was practicing the art well into her eighties!
I can still remember the period leading up to the high-school graduation dance and the aftermath.This was supposed to be “the time of your life”. Dressing up in the finest,going to the best restaurant we knew,riding in a stretch limousine,stayimng up til the next morning.Isn’t that what life is about? And yet….the very next day I was dumps.I kept playing that silly song on my record-player”What’s it all about,Alfie?’It resonated in my soul. I was lost.I don’t know how I managed to study in that state of mind.We were just two months from final exams. Guess I just went into hyper-focus and did very well.Another sign of being out of touch I guess.Hyper-performers usually are.Ever noticed?!
New Year’s Eve was more or less the same story.Except since it repeated itself every year,you could hope that next year would be the real one.It never was!
I guess the moral of the story is obvious.Since I love stating the obvious and then being either ignored or rebuked for doing so,let’s go.FUN is not the purpose of life! All hedonists end up in some kind of depression.Either the fun stops because of changed circumstances or they become tolerant to the perks of pleasure and they crash.Look elsewhere for meaning ,folks .It will do you good- in this life and in the after-life.
Ideas and Decisions
When I first started using the Istighara prayer,for Guidance from above via dreams,I did an interesting experiment.I first used my mind.I gathered all the necessary data(they call that research!) and thought deeply about the problem.I came to a decision.Then I did Istighara.My batting average was about 20%! Yes, that’s right -twenty percent.Four out of five times.I was wrong!Now ,I believe my mind is reasonably well-functioning, so that’s a surprising result.
Now Byron Katie has come more or less to the same conclusion even though her formulation is somewhat different.She states:”All your problems come from the same source.You believe the contents of your own mind”.
So what is the conclusion from this small experiment?It is that Most of your ideas and plans are wrong! Now ,reasonable people would think”I get some right and some wrong”. Wrong! Most of your ideas and plans are bad ones.No wonder there is so much suffering in the world.If you want to get it right,you need to consult seriously with your Lord.