Buddhism is the religion Westerners choose in order to not have to leave the psychological domain-i.e. the realm of experience.True religion and spirituality require faith,belief in the Unseen and submission to a Higher Power,none of which are subject to immediate experience.
Category Archives: Psychology
How the Mind Gets it Wrong-3
“How the Mind Gets it Wrong-3″ The NYTimes in an op-ed says”Oprah,don’t do it” Why not?! I’d vote for her any day over Obama.She is more creative,more gutsy and ultimately more well-intentioned than he ever was.Interesting footnote.The op-ed was written from Paris.What a heady combination-NYTimes and French intelligentsia.You couldn’t get it more wrong than that lol
How the Mind Gets it Wrong-2
Another “How the Mind gets it Wrong” story-in this case journalists mind.”Kushner’s Financial Ties to Israel Deepen Even With Mideast Diplomatic Role”headline in the NYTimes.As I have said before,this is not “fake news” but it is biased news.And most of the news stories contain hidden bias.The journalists are always looking for the dirt! That’s what they do.One of my teachers,Bawa Muhayyiddeen used to love animal analogies.He used to say that there are people who are like dogs.You bring them to a beautiful pasture and all they do is smell around for the excrement.A good analogy for journalism lol.In this specific case,whether Kushner was doing $30 million dollars of business with some Israeli is really irrelevant.Most businessmen would make a deal with the devil himself if they could improve the bottom line.Isn’t that what they are taught in MBA school?! What is important is if he can fashion a peace deal between the two parties! I know that there are many skeptics out there but give the guy a chance.No-one else has succeeded including the journalists’ all-time favourite Barak who probably made things worse by his dithering.Salaams.
Psychologists and “The Pattern”
Psychologists have it wrong-once again lol.The problem is not the famous”pattern”. The problem is that the pattern is not carried out to its logical conclusion which is a learning process.Each of these patterns have a hidden purpose.They are not just sinister reproductions of past relationships as the psychologists believe.(“According to psychology, everything happens for a negative reason.According to the spiritual perspective,everything that occurs has a positive intent- “Snakes and Ladders”)So dropping the pattern will not work.Believe me,it doesn’t happen.But realizing the purpose of the pattern can be truly uplifting.
For example,if you have a person who is inclined to follow(horror of horrors) they will be quickly diagnosed as Dependent Personality and urged to drop that behaviour.Instead ,they are encouraged to become more autonomous .Ironically all of these autonomy -seekers are followers! They are following the modernist obsession with autonomy and independence despite all the misery we can see around us caused by this way of thinking! Look around,really.
Perhaps ,what the person needs is to find a better person or group to follow-one that is less exploitative,kinder, more understanding,more with the Truth..Or perhaps they have to negotiate their needs more skilfully within the context of”following”.Yes,it can be done.I have been doing it for decades and I am sure there are others out there doing likewise.
However,eliminating following is like not having a steering wheel on your cart or a rudder on your ship.You just end up following the contour of the road or the current of the water.Nothing good can come from that.You’re either in the ditch or broken up on the rocks.
So I urge all ‘autonomists’ to wake up.They are followers too even though they are unaware of it..But they are following a sure-fire road to misery, even though that road is very highly populated lol Salaams,Ibrahim
The Problem with Istishara( consultation with other humans)
We are taught in Islam ,that when we have an important decision,we should do Istishara(consultation with other humans) and Istikhara(consultation with the Divine).I have wqritte4nm a lot about Istikhara but not much about Istishara.
The problem with Istishara is that most people will give you advice based on their own experience or based on their own ideological principles.Often this is not appropriate for your particular situation.That’s why we are taught in psychotherapy not to give advice,somethimg Sheikh Nazim could not understand.”How can you treat someone’s problems” ,he wondered,”without giving advice?”.He had a point.
In order to give sound advice ,you have to be able to step out of your own experience and be able to sound the unique experience of the other.This requires both empathy and intuition.Note that many people over-use their reason in giving advice.This is also a trap and can lead to seriously wrong advice .You can discover this phenomenon in my first book”Snakes and Ladders” where I talk about the “Negative Counsellor” -someone who gets it consistently wrong by being too reasonable!
If you can find someone with the capacity to be empathic and intuitive and coming from the subtle heart,by all means use them.If not it is safer to rely on the consultation with your Lord. Salaams,ibrahim
Narcissism:The Character Pathology of the Modern World?
Heinz Kohut and Self-Psychology.The father of the study of Narcissism-NYTimes review: “The question naturally arises whether Kohut succeeded in transforming his own narcissism. Strozier’s portrait indicates that his self-love was very strong indeed. His Kohut is self-obsessed, often unable to entertain any subject but his own work. His need to dominate every conversation seems to have been nearly maniacal. Yet he was also an able teacher and a superbly dedicated therapist, who insisted that empathy not Freudian aloofness, is central to the therapeutic process. (Stay tuned for more analysis of character pathology and how to deal with it.May not be a coincidence that the Donald is president of the U.S.A.!)
Refinements to the Istikhara Process
When I was first taught Istikhara ,the responses wee considered all or none.If you saw red or black it meant a ‘no’ and if you saw green or white ,it was a ‘yes’.If you woke up in the morning feeling angst,it was a ‘no’ and if you woke up in peace,it was a ‘yes’.
Actually,especially in terms of dream symbolism, I have been seeing something else lately.Remember that all choices and all relationships have good and bad in them.Don’t expect Allah to show you anything less than the whole truth!Therefore you may be confronted with a negative aspect of a situation or person without this meaning a definitive ‘no’.It may just mean that you have to factor in that quality or consider it an obstacle or a challenge within the context of going forward with your choice.If you do not do so,you may find that all your choices are bad! -which ends up simply paralyzing you.
I hope this makes sense to some of my readers who ,like myself,are taking Istikhara seriously.Most people will continue,however,to just follow their minds as I mentioned in the last posting.Too bad,really.But Allah gives them that choice-it’s called free will-another mystery of the Universe,as people,in my observation,usually use it badly.. Salaams,Ibrahim
Epistemology-The Science of Knowledge
As I pursue my path and observe others, I see clearly that most people,no matter what I or other mystics say,still trust their minds(ideas and feelings) and act accordingly.Although this is instinctive,it is a serious error!A couple of quotes: “The right answer is often the opposite of the instinctive one”-Clint Eastwood-The Million-Dollar Baby. “All your problems come from the same place.You believe the contents of your own mind”Byron Katie. So what are the alternatives.
The first two are very difficult for modern people.The first is to tap into the will of God.Not an easy matter.Most people are so stuck in their own will and desires that the true will of God is completely obscured.Many do not even accept the idea that God has Will.
The second alternative is to trust in an intermediary like a Prophet or a sheikh or a guru.Once again the modern mind is trained to rebel against authority and to want to be independent,autonomous,”free”.
For these reasons I will suggest a third method -despite knowing full well the actual resistance I will encounter-the Scientific Method.Yes,that’s right-the scientific method,the real one! That involves real observation and experimentation and genuine conclusions-not statistical analysis,demographics and peer-reviewed journals.Observation and experimentation.Simple as that.Simple but deep!
I’ll give you a concrete example.When I first started to learn about Istikhara,I did an experiment.I took 10 decisions I had to make.Then I analyzed the data I had,did some research and some thinking and came to a conclusion.After that I did the Istikhara practice.And then I followed the situation to its inevitable conclusion.My analytic decision was wrong 8/10 times! That’s right-I was one out of five -a 20% success rate.And I believe I’m reasonably good at that process.So all those wonderful decisions you make-most probably wrong!
The Istikhara(it must be properly interpreted of course,which is another science) was inevitably right.When it wasn’t,it was due to misinterpretation!
Really folks,your whole process of making decisions is flawed!The one they taught you in school doesn’t work! Just look around you if you don’t believe me lol.You can observe it yourself.Admittedly,this takes deep observation and humility..It also takes a true open mind.Salaams,Ibrahim
Texting!
An old friend of mine who abhors all forms of modern technology especially ‘screens’ thinks that texting is a toxic form of communication.I am beginning to think he may be right! The problem with texting is that it is immediate and there are no auditory or visual cues to guide us in the communication.It is only words without context.This can easily lead to sliding off the path off compassion and kindness.Estaghfirullah.I think I ,myself may have fallen victim to this deviance on more than one occasion.God help us all.
The Ultimate Choice
Let me make this clear.I know this is the advanced course but that is what this blog is about.We have a stark choice in this life.It’s either the way of inspiration or the way of ego/mind.The way of inspiration is related to the heart,the intuition,the Istikhara prayer and ultimately to the will of God.The way of ego/mind comes from social conditioning and personal history.It is now strongly associated with democracy,liberalism and reason.It can be heavily influenced by personal trauma as well.Allah has, in His wisdom, given us the choice here- through his gift of Free Will.Ultimately the choice is between peace of mind and clarity or misery ,anxiety and confusion.Most people choose the latter- because it is the social norm!