Bezos vs. Pecker(Amazon vs. National Enquirer).Latest American scandal:  One of the deceptive tactics in the modern world M.O. is to take a socially common phenomenon and make it into an individual issue.The example of Trump as president,individually  reflecting so many of the bad social values endemic in American society(greed,materialism,self-centredness and xenophobia for starters)is the most prominent instance of this..So too Pecker threatening Bezos that if he doesn’t publish an article exculpating them from political interference ,they will publish embarrassing material on him.Is this really different from how many,if not most,corporations act? Are there not loads of threatening and actual lawsuits ,cease and desist orders-threatening financial ruin,discrediting reputations,reporting to federal and state authorities of misdemeanors.How about the chemical companies suing scientists reporting on the cancerogenic effects of their products.In Canada the federal government fired scientists for making public the same kind of findings.So this kind of ‘curvishe'(whorish) stuff is going on all the time in our wonderful democratic societies.,So don’t tell me this is only Pecker and Bezos.So “wake up and smell the coffee” oh modernists.And I hope it’s a decent cup of espresso at least lol.You can thank another prominent C.EO. Howard Schultz (I’m confident there are plenty of scandals to be found there as well.just wait to see if he persists in the campaign) for that.I visited pre-Starbucks America and the only place you could find decent coffee was in small isolated Italian restaurants!

Many years ago my spiritual teacher asked me to consult with a female follower of Rajneeesh at a spiritual centre in Germany.She was at that point in a state of sever depression.When I went over the history ,it was clear that her depression had worsened year by year as she participated in this decadent spiritual group.She would hear nothing of it.She blamed herself for”being too resistant to the teacher”(That was actually her key to recovery lol rather than the cause of the problem).The group happily concurred with that analysis.They didn’t want to look at the negative effect that environment was having on them all.So”when in doubt,blame an individual”. That seems to be the bottom-line approach.

Coming back briefly to the question of America.The U.S.A. should be doing a serious rethink of their entire life-style from top to bottom.Because, despite all the pomp and ceremony and latest technology,it isn’t working.The usual outcome of all of this is,of course,collapse like all the previous corrupt empires.But we do have the option of turning around.I wouldn’t bet on it however,not even on the new NFL betting sites lol

Some more psychological coping strategies: I have already posted a blog called”Self-Talk: The Three denials” about dealing with anxiety in ourselves.This one is about dealing with Borderline Personalities in our lives.It is the result of a lot of clinical study and experience plus personal exposure to this kind of personalty,charming as they may be at times lol

1) “Whoa.Take it easy“. This is for the borderline when the emotional intensity is way beyond the actual events.But first,you have to sense the amplification and the unnecessary level of distress.The DBT people would call this”Emotional Awareness” or “Mindfulness’. The recipient of this emotional storm,you, needs to be solid,well-grounded and un-reactive, at least externally,in order to be able to implement this effectively.

2) “With all due respect,what you are saying or implying is not true” When you are being subject to a serious projection or distortion of the reality of the moment because of the underlying paranoid attitude of the Borderline person.Here you need to stand your ground ,not expect that the person will accept what you are saying,let them deny it and then sit with your words.I learnt from the psychoanalysts not to worry so much about the initial response.Watch the effect over time and you might be surprised to find that some of it sticks!

3)’You were on the right track(or even you were spot on ) when you said.…”This is not simply a way of endearing the person to you or flattering them.In fact,the borderline has a very fragile ego that needs to be bolstered in its confidence by knowing when they are ,in fact, right.You can see this as repairing a fragile sense of self.

And to quote the bard once again”And he just said-‘Good Luck’ lol

Salaams,Ibrahim

One of the biggest problems in American politics and in American society generally is this notion of “winning“. Although Trump talked about working together last nite(State of the Union 2019) , he talks much more often and more convincingly about the importance of ”winning”.And it is not just Trump. The entire nation is obsessed with so-called winning.?” Whether in sports where Tom Brady is the most winning quarterback(arguably also the most boring!) or in elections or the adversarial legal process the key issue seems always to be “winning”. This is , of course, also true in academia(winning a place in the best university or having the highest grades there) or in business( having the most profit, the highest increase in stock value for the company) etc.,etc. This is a pathological social attitude that is creating stress and sickness right through the society! What ever happened to to the Christian idea that the first will be last. According to Christian history ( Muslims don’t accept that narrative) the biggest loser( what can be a worse loss than being crucified) is the biggest winner(saving humanity). So we need a major rethink on this issue. Clearly Trump is not the man for this job. He needs too much to keep “winning “ to bolster his fragile ego!

Their hearts are full of greed and envy and resentment and self-centredness but their houses are impeccably clean. This is one of the shirks( idolatries) of the modern era . I can hear the naysayers already”But isn’t cleanliness important?Don’t the Christians say:’Cleanliness is close to Godliness’. Don’t the Muslims do wudu and avoid ‘najas’(dirty things)?”Yes, this is all true. But there are priorities and perspective that is needed. Seriously!

When I came back from a long sabbatical in the Middle East, I was astounded by what I saw. “There are only three virtues left here-punctuality, material cleanliness and not pushing into line”, I would say. I could add hard work in some cases. But that is a pitiful list of virtues, especially if one is trying to improve our relationship with our Creator ! We need to work on inner cleaning, big time. Otherwise we are sunk.

Amongst the more common complaints I heard from patients in my psychiatric practice was:”My mother was much more concerned with the house being clean than she was with my emotional  state.I felt I didn’t really exist for her.” I heard that many times!