Some more psychological coping strategies: I have already posted a blog called”Self-Talk: The Three denials” about dealing with anxiety in ourselves.This one is about dealing with Borderline Personalities in our lives.It is the result of a lot of clinical study and experience plus personal exposure to this kind of personalty,charming as they may be at times lol

1) “Whoa.Take it easy“. This is for the borderline when the emotional intensity is way beyond the actual events.But first,you have to sense the amplification and the unnecessary level of distress.The DBT people would call this”Emotional Awareness” or “Mindfulness’. The recipient of this emotional storm,you, needs to be solid,well-grounded and un-reactive, at least externally,in order to be able to implement this effectively.

2) “With all due respect,what you are saying or implying is not true” When you are being subject to a serious projection or distortion of the reality of the moment because of the underlying paranoid attitude of the Borderline person.Here you need to stand your ground ,not expect that the person will accept what you are saying,let them deny it and then sit with your words.I learnt from the psychoanalysts not to worry so much about the initial response.Watch the effect over time and you might be surprised to find that some of it sticks!

3)’You were on the right track(or even you were spot on ) when you said.…”This is not simply a way of endearing the person to you or flattering them.In fact,the borderline has a very fragile ego that needs to be bolstered in its confidence by knowing when they are ,in fact, right.You can see this as repairing a fragile sense of self.

And to quote the bard once again”And he just said-‘Good Luck’ lol

Salaams,Ibrahim